Preparing for Resolutions
Posted under: Resolutions
A lot of people hate resolutions. They hate the word ‘resolution’. They think forming new year’s resolutions is an antiquated, useless process.
The words “New Years Resolution” can immediately call to mind the folks who say EVERY YEAR that they’re going to stop smoking or lose weight but never follow through, and in those cases perhaps there is some truth to the snark. Even in those situations, I believe there is some value in a person taking time to look at their life and find ways they would like to improve it.
Regardless, Resolutions aren’t about what someone ELSE wants. Resolutions should always be personal. I can’t change other folks or help them stop smoking or lose weight. I can encourage, but that’s where my involvement in someone else’s life ends.
So, if you hate resolutions because you don’t like the resolutions that other people make … maybe don’t worry about them so much.
Intent And Wording
Some folks look at NYResolutions as goals, a view I like because goals should be measurable.
Some folks look at NYResolutions as gifts to themselves, which is a great way to sort of reboot the negative mental image of resolutions.
For the purposes of the example, we’ll call our New Years Resolutioner Marishka, because I think that’s a beautiful name and I don’t know anyone who has it.
Marishka is making a new Years Resolution. How should she phrase it?
“For 2010, I want to give myself the gift of a healthy body.”
That sounds very positive and uplifting, and I think that’s a much better way to phrase it than:
“I need to stop being such a fat cow in 2010.”
They’re both the same intent, but one of them makes Marishka happy and the other makes her face go all sqwunchy and sour.
When it comes to self-motivation, I favor leaning more heavily on carrot than stick. YMMV.
Measurable and Specific
Regardless of wording, the above “Resolution” lacks measurability and specificity. (Sorry, Marishka, it’s true.)
Please note that going from “I want to lose weight” to “I will watch what I eat” is not usually enough. Most of the time, that resolution is kept – we watch the food on our plate, we watch it on the fork, and we watch it go into our mouth. Something more like the following is what I mean when I say “measurable” and “specific”:
“To support my gift to myself of a healthy body, I will try one new healthy food recipe from X healthy food cookbook or website per week. I will encourage myself to eat at least one full serving of vegetables per day (and no, french fries smothered in cheese, bacon, and gravy do not count as a vegetable). In addition to tracking my vegetable intake, I will also be mindful of carby foods and sugar, trying to minimize how much of them I eat. I will keep a food diary. I will not keep trigger foods in my house. I will refuse free donuts and bagels when they’re offered at work.”
Sure, that’s harder to SAY than the originally worded resolution, but it’s a lot easier to FOLLOW.
So at this point, Marishka’s gone from “I will lose weight” through “I give myself the gift of a healthy body” and now she’s got specific actions to take.
Marishka will need a journal (whether paper or digital is unimportant, so long as it’s convenient, likely to be used, and private enough that she doesn’t feel the need to lie about what she ate/drank in it to save face.)
She’ll need to wrangle up some healthy recipes and be prepared to work out a grocery list for the ingredients she’ll need.
Her house still has a lot of cookies and cakes and desserty things lying around … does she have any friends who would appreciate some food gifts? Marishka may find it hard to throw food away, but many’s the dieter who believes that purging process really drives home the impact of the goal.
She needs to get used to thinking about what kinds of foods she’s eating. How often does she snack without really realizing it? When she has a salad at the salad bar, how much of what she’s eating is a vegetable? How much is sauces and cheeses and croutons and nuts?
When free junk food is offered at work, Marishka will say no. This is a very specific goal – Marishka works at a business where free food is offered pretty often – cakes for birthdays, company breakfasts, vendors or coworkers bringing in treats and surprises. Telling herself flat out that she can’t have any free food brought in to work takes out the guesswork – no more “well, only if it’s a really SMALL piece” or “I really deserve this”. It’s not that she can’t choose to have bagels or donuts, just that the free stuff brought into work is verboten. Prohibidado. She says it in Spanish so she knows just how exotic and not allowed it is.
These are ACTIONS, not just thoughts. Marishka has transformed a vague desire into specific, measurable actions.
Note that I use the weight loss goal because it is a common one and because it’s one that I myself have recently implemented, so it’s on my mind. I don’t pretend to be a nutritionist, expert, or doctor and this isn’t a weight loss blog. You should always see a health professional before embarking on any major weight loss journey, etc, etc. Let’s move on, shall we?
That’s a Lot of Work!
Yes, that is a lot of work. Not all resolutions require that much work, but then again, if it was an EASY resolution to implement, it wouldn’t be such a great example. Most people don’t bother making resolutions for easy stuff (though I personally encourage it).
Rarely does a vague resolution stick, no matter how fervently the words are spoken.
How important is it to you that you reach your goal? Then that’s exactly how much work you should be prepared to put into making it happen.
On the upside, it feels really really GOOD when you’ve kept a resolution and made a positive change in your life.
If you care enough to MAKE the resolution, you should care enough to want it to succeed, right?
Finding a Resolution
Reaching a healthy body weight is just one of the most common resolutions. Say that’s not a goal of yours (and it shouldn’t be unless YOU want it to be!) – what then? No resolutions for you?
Pffft. You know me better than that!
Think. You have an ENTIRE YEAR spread out before you. At the end of that year, when you look back and say “2010 in review” what do you want to include? There are some things you have no control over, but there are plenty of things you definitely DO have control over.
Writers! Is 2010 the year you finish your manuscript? Is it the year you start seeking an agent’s representation? Is it the year you self-publish?
Artists! Is 2010 the year you finally learn some new artistic technique? Have you been struggling with anatomy or coloring or allowing yourself to sketch? Will do do one art piece per month? One a week? One fully-finished art piece every two months?
Parents! Will you finally finish that family scrapbook you’ve been meaning to do?
Homeowners! How about that wall that needs painting or that thingy widgety doohicky that’s needed fixing? Maybe you can even get started on the landscaping you’ve wanted to do since before you moved in, but haven’t really had the time.
Doctors! How about that cure for cancer thing? (hey, never hurts to wish, right?)
Maybe it’s not weight loss but muscle growth you crave. Want to hit 100 pushups during 2010? How about learning how to do a proper upper body workout and progressing beyond the low-end weights?
Or maybe not so much muscle growth as cardiovascular fitness. Is there a race coming up you’d like to compete in? How should you prepare yourself for the race ahead of time?
Readers! Did you not get quite as much reading in your particular genre as you’d hoped? How many books per month would you like to read through in 2010?
Pet owners – thinking about training your dog for agility contests? Or maybe just training him to sit on command? Why not 2010?
Chefs and bakers – learn to make a tricky new confection or … um … beef wellington, or something!
Kitters and yarnistas! What new project will this year hold?
Pianists and musicians – do you have a piece of goal music you’d like to be able to play?
… the possibilities are ENDLESS. You don’t have to have lofty goals to have goals. All you have to do is peer into the haze of the future and tell yourself a story about the person you are when 2011 is tickling your nose.
Bad Resolutions
Bad resolutions are the ones that you don’t have control over or that are not reasonable. Remember to focus your goals on yourself, not other people, and to base your progress on what you are capable of. You don’t want to find yourself saddled with so many plans that you can barely step forward. Especially if your goals pertain to learning new habits – those take extra time and effort.
Summary
New Year Resolutions may be a little cheesy and outdated, but I think they’re a great tool for self-improvement. I see them as an invitation to reinvent or improve some portion of your life.
What do you think about resolutions? Love them, hate them? I’ll admit, I’m a glass-half-full Pollyanna kind of girl. What works for me doesn’t work for everyone.
You always word your resolution posts so well. I’m thinking about mentioning this post in QotD? next week.
@KristenSue
I would be honored by a QOTD mention, madam. <3
It may not be quite the honor as a link on QOTD, but I’ll probably link to you as well when I write my Goals post, either this weekend, when I’m back from Hawai’i, or on Monday.
Setting goals that are quantifiable is the key to accomplishing them, without cheating yourself. Even if you only say, “I will lose 20 pounds before Christmas,” without specifying how, you’ve started down the right path. Of course, saying you want to get from A to B with only a compass doesn’t account for any of the obstacles a roadmap might point out to you.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..Where did the year go? A retrospective look at 2009 =-.
@Steve
*laughs* I never said it wasn’t an honor to get a link from you, Kes!
Giving yourself a more specific goal is definitely heading in the right direction. Personally, I’ve never had much luck unless I’ve made much more specific milestones as well as an ending goal. Too easy to slip up if I’m not entirely sure which way I’m headed, and weight loss in particular is a trip made on ice!
Looking forward to reading your post!